Wedding Date on Jul 21, 2020

I got married during a pandemic and it was perfect. You can read that again if needed. I am not the cool girl that didn't even think of her wedding until she was engaged. I am the girl that has had a wedding Pinterest board for a decade and has dreamt of her wedding day for as long as she can remember. I worked in a bridal shop for years and fell in love with every sparkly dress that entered the showroom. But during our engagement, plans changed dramatically for so many reasons, one of them being COVID-19, and our wedding went from the traditional, backyard event to an intimate, elopement-style ceremony on a mountainside. Spoiler: it turned out better than I could have ever imagined. So, if you're like me and the weight of the world is weighing heavily on your happily ever, I hope our story will give you some comfort. The Planning Zachary proposed in October of 2018, and we allowed ourselves to be on cloud nine as we shared the news with loved ones. After the holidays passed, Zach and I decided to start planning. We created a budget, picked a date in May of 2020, decided on around 180 guests, and discussed having our wedding on a close family friends' property. We chipped away at wedding planning but we never truly immersed ourselves in it. During our engagement, our personal lives were hectic (shocker) and I was too overwhelmed by everything else going on in our lives to focus much on the wedding. The more we planned the more things just didn't feel like they were falling into place as they should. Zach is from Kansas so we realized not all of his people were going to be able to travel to Oregon. Our budget was forcing us to feel like we were making sacrifices and cutting corners, which took a lot of the excitement out of planning and lead to some procrastination. Fall of 2019 rolled around and we knew we needed to start getting serious about wedding planning. Then, one night I turned to Zach and said, "We should just elope." While I am sure every bride utters those words during the planning process, I was serious. I watched YouTube videos of brides talking about their elopement. I browsed on Pinterest to get mountainside elopement inspiration. I called around to see when was the soonest the snow would be melted enough to get married on Mt. Hood. I started making plans, with Zach's support, and then I sought the advice of my best friend. She was supportive but also expressed concern that if we had none of our friends and family there, I might grow to regret it because, if you remember, I am a more is more kind of gal. After a few months of letting everything sit with us, we realized an intimate wedding felt right. We could still have the mountainside moment that I had recently fallen in love with, but we could also have our most important people beside us. We started planning and this time we were able to book our absolute dream vendors because our budget could go a lot further if we weren't renting forks and cups for 200 people. We got to put our money where it mattered most to us and book the vendors I had grown to love while being immersed in this community. We had the freedom to curate a day that felt authentically us to every detail. In March, I finished my degree as COVID-19 hit and our reality changed as it did for so many. There were really hard, emotional moments. Celebrations were canceled and some nights I cried because I didn't really feel like a bride or a graduate. What was supposed to be an exciting time was overshadowed by fear, but my tears felt frivolous in comparison to the pain that was being experienced on a global scale. I struggled to validate my emotions but also keep myself in check as I was also experiencing overwhelming gratitude for my health and my overall security. I say all of this because if you're a bride who is reading this, I want you to know that I have been there too. May arrived and our original wedding day came. I thought I would be sad, but in reality, I was grateful that I didn't have to have everything ready to host a massive event that day. When I looked out the window during what would have been our ceremony time, it started raining. For some reason, the weather was the validation I needed to feel like I really did make the right choice. As our new date in July approached, finances got hard with the pandemic and we were further behind in the planning process than we had anticipated. Our family wasn't able to contribute as much as we had planned and we didn't know how much we needed in savings to navigate all of the chaos in the world. We bit the bullet and spent the money we needed to make it happen. It was tight, and we spent more than we thought we would, but we are okay and I don't regret it for a second. Since we had dramatically cut down our guest list months prior, we were not forced to do so because of COVID. Originally, we had hoped to have my grandma, attend the ceremony, but eventually, we had to make the heartbreaking decision to not have her involved in the wedding for her safety. It sucked. But we were able to have a sweet treat and watch our wedding films with multiple grandparents now that we are all vaccinated. They were still able to witness the commitment that we made in a beautifully modern, and safe, way. Life felt chaotic as we finalized details leading up to the wedding, and to be totally honest, it didn't really hit me that we were so close to getting married after almost two years of engagement. I frantically tried to find PJ sets for the bridesmaids that weren't sold out and complete all of the projects I had told myself I would do. Spoiler #2: I didn't finish them all. It was the weekend before the wedding before we knew it and Zach's family flew in to stay with us. It finally started feeling real. We were able to put down life's responsibilities and enjoy a family lake day as well as other wedding weekend celebrations. Turns out wedding weekends are my favorite weekends. The day before the wedding, we realized we needed to pack. After we got loaded up, we drove to the Airbnb we would all be staying at in Sandy. We listened to our wedding playlist the whole way and for a few hours, we were able to slow down and sit with our excitement. Once we arrived, we all settled in, ate some pizza, and our families played games while I finished some lettering projects for the big day. Zach's mom then surprised us with cards and a video from friends and family back in Kansas. We felt the overwhelming love that would become a trend over the following days. The Wedding Day When Zachary and I woke up next to each other on our wedding day, we also woke up to a flood of messages wishing us a happy wedding day. We went downstairs to his mom making his family cinnamon roll recipe and my mom cooking everything else needed for an incredible brunch. After spending some time with everyone, I went to start the process of getting ready and Zach spent some time to himself, writing vows and getting ready for the day ahead. Neither of us fully realized that today was actually the day we had been anticipating. I spent hours getting ready and listening to our wedding playlist. As I was stationed in the bathroom getting ready, our moms and my sister came in for my help. My best friend arrived and I was able to hang out with my favorite people as we consulted each other on the perfect about of eyeliner. Naturally, I wrote my vows into my vow book with my hair and makeup halfway done, and I think that is the moment it got real. Before I realized it, I was running downstairs to greet vendors as they arrived. We had a mini reception in the greenhouse at the Woodland House, and Amy, from Brier and Ivy, graciously offered to set up and style the tables with the items I had curated as well as a few of her own. In the hustle and bustle of putting final touches on everything, a box arrived at the front door which contained a replacement for Zach's suit since his jacket had previously been a little snug. It was insanely perfect timing. Since our ceremony was in the evening, we all enjoyed a dinner that my parents made before we left for the mountainside. All of our favorite humans had the chance to eat some delicious food while getting to know each other. Nick, our photographer (www.nickplusdanee.com), and Alexis, our videographer from Green Attic Films, fit right in and were able to get to know our people as well. After dinner, Zach and I parted ways until the first look so we could each get dressed. Since we didn't have a traditional bridal party, each of our mom's helped us get ready and it was perfect. We tried to find small ways to honor our loved ones in ways that made sense for us, creating special moments throughout the day that I will cherish forever. We all caravanned up to Mt. Hood, and while we did, the nerves finally hit. As everyone was arriving, Nick went to scope out a spot for the ceremony and first look. Nick took Zach up to the spot he had found and Alexis took me shortly after. Once I saw Zach, the nerves melted away. We called our family up and, since there were so few people and one very special pup, we were able to easily get portraits with everyone. We walked around behind Timberline Lodge for a bit before deciding on the spot that we would get married. Once we did, everyone found a place to stand and the ceremony began. Our parents gathered around Zach and I as my mom prayed over us, and my first tears of the day began to fall. Reverend Chris Lewis took over from there and I don't know how to describe it other than utterly perfect and so authentically us. It was truly one of the best moments of my life and there wasn't a single second that I missed the big arbor or the 200 chairs. Before we knew it, we were saying I do and we were married. Immediately following the ceremony, we took a group photo, and then our moms signed our marriage license as our witnesses. Once we hugged everyone, they headed back to the Woodland House while Zach and I walked around Mt Hood with Nick and Alexis to capture some portraits. As a side note, during the portrait session, Nick and Alexis were absolutely incredible and made Zach and I feel so comfortable and celebrated. The photos and video turned out better than I could have ever imagined so if you're considering hiring them for your day, do it. I was on cloud nine, so much so that I didn't realize that my heels had cut my feet in protest for being used as hiking boots, which Alexis pointed out as we walked down the mountain to our cars. The drive back to the Woodland House was about 40 minutes, which gave Zach and I plenty of time to decide on our first dance song and say "we're married" at least 20 times. Looking back, I am so grateful that we had that time carved out just to be together and process our ceremony with one another. When we arrived at the Woodland House, my mom, sister, and best friend were putting the final touches on the greenhouse space while everyone else was hanging out and enjoying a drink. I grabbed a slice of cold pizza and traded my heels for my Birkenstocks since my feet had finally started hurting. There were a few hiccups when turning on the lights in the greenhouse, but since the schedule was so loose, it just gave us more time to hang out as my dad followed the extension cord through the forest. Once everything was ready, we went out to the deck to have our first dance. Immediately following Zach and I's dance to "The Few Things" by JP Saxe and Charolette Lawrence, "Schoolboy Heart" by Jimmy Buffet came on, a song that I can still hear my dad singing along to when I was a little girl, and I surprised him with a father-daughter dance. Zach then surprised his mom with a mother-son dance to "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill. After those emotional moments, we headed to the greenhouse space and it was something from a fairytale. Amy did an amazing job making my vision come to life and it turned out so dreamy. We poured drinks, ate snacks, and cut our delicious, gorgeous cake made by Foxtail Bake Shop. As someone who grew up watching wedding cake competitions on the Food Network, I had nigh expectations and Nickol exceeded them. We felt so unbelievably loved as each person came up and gave us a toast. So if you've made it this far and you're going to take anything from this story, have an intimate wedding so that everyone can give you a toast. It gave all of our favorite humans the opportunity to share some words about Zach and me and it was really the moment in which we felt loved and celebrated. After we wiped our tears from the toasts, we all sat around finishing bottles of champagne and enjoying each other's company. Since Zach's family is from Kansas and mine is from Oregon, it was really special to see how close everyone was by the end of the night. Everyone invited everyone else to all of the weddings and life events to come and I don't think any of us wanted the night to end. We went back inside and continued hanging out and I ended up calling Zach and I's hotel for the night and letting them know that we wouldn't be making it because we wanted to spend as much time as possible with the people that we loved. So we did, and it was perfect. My Advice So if you're a bride and you're wanting my advice, here is what I have for you. 1. Make your wedding an authentic, beautiful representation of your love. You don't have to know what that looks like right away. You are also allowed to change your mind if you are knee-deep into planning and something isn't feeling right. However, it is much easier to know from the beginning. 2. Keep this season of life centered on the two of you. Stay grounded in your love and what matters to you. Celebrate the little steps along the way. Slow down, simplify if needed, and take it in. 3. Those around you may not be able to center their lives around your wedding, so take advantage of the small moments between you and your person. If people don't show up for you in ways that you hoped, find ways to still make it feel special just the two of you. 4. Do what makes sense and feels right for you. Don't allow yourself to drown in obligation. As a side note: during my time as a bridal stylist, my favorite appointments were those with the bride and one special person. You don't need to have a zillion people show up for you with champagne ready to pop for moments throughout the planning process to be really special. Those in the wedding industry just want to support you and help you feel celebrated, whatever that looks like. 5. Your first step should be creating a budget. Since that isn't the most exciting first step, give yourself some time to enjoy being engaged before you dive into planning. Splurge on what matters to you, but don't feel the need to splurge on things you don't truly care about. I found a lot of freedom in having a small, intimate wedding for this reason. We were able to hire our dream vendors without breaking the bank. 6. Find ways to honor your love and the people who love you in ways that may or may not be traditional but feel right for the two of you. 7. If you have an intimate wedding, have everyone give you a toast! It was the part of our day that was unexpectedly one of the most special. I also told my loved ones that it was optional and it should be two minutes or less so we wouldn't be there all night. 8. Get a videographer. You know yourself best, but in my opinion, just do it. The day flies by and being able to hear your spouse recite their vows to you and see the unbelievable joy of the day captured on video is priceless. I have watched our film countless times and it has given us the freedom to share our day with those who weren’t able to make it. 9. Get the dress that makes you feel beautiful. You don't have to sob to know it's the one. Just get the one that you feel giddy in. 10. If COVID has taught us anything, it is that we should be flexible when planning anything, even our wedding. Try to be flexible when things come up, but you're also allowed to cry when you have to adjust things. Give yourself the space to feel it, vent to someone who understands, and then continue on. At the end of this potentially difficult planning process, you will be married and you will have had a beautiful day to honor your love. Sometimes things have to change for the better.