by Linda DiProperzio
Once you’ve decided to get married, there is so much wedding planning to do. One of the most important tasks is choosing your wedding party, especially your bridesmaids. These are the people who will not only stand beside you on the big day, but also be the ones you lean on when the planning process gets stressful.
Deciding to be a bridesmaid in someone’s wedding is also a big decision. After all, there is the time and financial commitment, not to mention that they will have plenty of responsibilities when it comes to planning the bridal shower, bachelorette party and helping you on the actual wedding day. And because they play such an important role this once-in-a-lifetime event, many brides are finding special ways to ask them to be a part of their special day.
Finding your bridesmaids
How many bridesmaids should you have?
There are no rules when it comes to choosing your wedding party, so how many bridesmaids you have is entirely up to you. Keep in mind, though, that the more bridesmaids you have, the more personalities you will have to deal with during the planning process. This can make things like picking out dresses, planning the bridal shower and bachelorette, and other wedding logistics more difficult at times.
Do you really need to propose to your bridesmaids?
While you don’t need to do it, it is something that can make your bridesmaids feel special and appreciated as you start this journey together. Agreeing to be a part of someone’s wedding day is a big commitment—both in time and money—so you want them to know you appreciate that they want to be a part of your day.
When should you ask someone to be your bridesmaid?
Before you ask someone to be your bridesmaid, there are a few factors to consider. First, you should take the time to think about who you want in the wedding party. Planning can be a stressful process at times, so be mindful of who you want around you in the months leading up to the big day. Is this a person who will be helpful and happy to be a bridesmaid—or someone who will cause drama and have a litany of complaints? Don’t rush into this decision. Instead, give yourself at least one month to think about it.
When you’re ready to ask, you should know your wedding date, as well as other important details, including the location. This is especially important if there is going to be travel involved.
Everything you need to know about bridesmaid proposals
Think of it as popping the question—to your bridesmaids! It is a special gesture to make the moment when you ask, “Will you be my bridesmaid?” more meaningful and memorable for your bridal party. It can involve a gift of some kind, but you don’t need to spend a lot of money. These are not the same as the presents you will give to your bridesmaids at the rehearsal dinner. The proposal gift can be something cute, sweet or even funny, but it doesn’t have to pricey.
If you can, it's best to ask your bridesmaids in person, don't do it over text and email. If getting together isn't an option, try to chat over video so you can see them in real time. Trust us, you don't want to miss their faces light up when they find out you want them to be by your side when you say I do!
Creative ways of asking someone to be your bridesmaid
Write a poem
If you have a way with words, write each of your bridesmaids a short, personalized poem explaining why you want them to be a part of this event.
Present a ring pop
Give her some bling when you pop the question—but instead of a diamond, slip a ring pop on her finger.
Frame a photo
Whether it’s you with each bridesmaid or a group photo if you’re all friends, this is something your bridal party will treasure for years to come.
Go on a coffee date
Invite each of your bridesmaids out for coffee and ask the barista ahead of time to write the question on their orders.
Make a video
Create a Tik Tok video to express your love for your bridesmaids and either send it to her privately or tag all of them.
Hand out cute T-shirts
Invite your gal pals over for a movie night or Sunday brunch, and then gift each of them with a T-shirt that has “Team Bride” on the front.
Plan a spa day
Being a bridesmaid is a lot of work, so it’s never too early to start pampering them.
Pack a tote
Gift them with a personalized bridesmaid tote and fill each one with that person’s favorite snacks, drinks, and beauty item.
Host a game night and act out the big question when it’s your turn.
Host a girls’ night out and hand out pretty pins that say “bridesmaid.”
Buy some bouquets
Find out if a local florist can put together a small (affordable) bouquet for each bridesmaid that you can personally deliver to them with a sweet note.
Have colorful balloons filled with confetti and a handwritten note. Deliver to each bridesmaid with a pin and don’t forget to record the moment she pops it!
Send sweet treats
Make (or hire someone) to bake cookies and have the question written on each one in frosting.
Hand out personalized puzzle that when completed asks that important question.
Mail a special card
You can purchase scratch off greeting cards on sites like Etsy that unveils the big question.
Wrap up a bottle of bubbly
Purchase customized labels featuring “Will you be my bridesmaid?," then place them on a mini bottle of champagne.
Order custom cookies with a fortune that reads, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”
Personalized makeup bags
Your bridesmaids can use these to carry their beauty items on the wedding day.
Present each one with a tag that reads, “You’re the bomb, so will you be my bridesmaid?”
You can pair the bath bomb with a candle boasting a special message--and a scent selected especially for each person.
Gift them with personalized silk pajamas with "Bridesmaid" embroidered on them that they can wear during the bachelorette weekend.
Hand out hair ties
Order a gorgeous accessory wrapped in packaging that reads “I couldn’t tie the know without you.” They might even be able to use them on the wedding day.
These are perfect to store any gifts or mementos they might collect from the big day.
Create an origami
If you’re especially creative, make each bridesmaid their own origami masterpiece to symbolize how unique they are.
Bring them on a scavenger hunt
Set up a scavenger hunt for your bridesmaids, choosing places special to all of you. When they make it to the last location, you can have a bridesmaid-themed gift waiting for each of them.
Write a song
If you have some musical talent, why not show it by penning a tune to ask your bridesmaids to be a part of your special day?
Put together a playlist
Sticking with the music theme, you can also create a playlist of meaningful songs for each of your bridesmaids.
Delight with donuts
Deliver donuts customized with the message “I donut know what I would do without you!”
Mail a comical card
Send each of your bridesmaids a card with a funny message, such as “Will you hold my dress while I pee?”
Hand out “Team Bride” T-shirts to all of your bridesmaids.
This is an affordable item that your bridal party can use whenever they go to the beach, a concert, camping, etc. And they’ll think of you every time!
Still not convinced you need to plan something special for your bridesmaids? Here’s Why (and How!) You Should Propose To Your Bridesmaids!