Here at Love Stories TV, our goal is to help every couple plan their dream day without stressing so much over every decision. In fact, our little secret? You should do exactly what you want to do as a couple—it’s your day!—no one else’s opinions matter. However, we know it’s easier said than done to not stress over a wedding so we’re sharing some of our best wedding planning tips with you.
Are you afraid you’ll regret not doing something on your wedding day or worried you’ll realize later that you should have done that one thing? Our founder and CEO, Rachel Jo Silver, breaks down her five biggest wedding day regrets so you won’t make the same mistake. However, as we said, ultimately, you do you! Watch the video for all Rachel’s tips below.
I'm Rachel and the founder and CEO of Love Stories TV and today I am going to name my five biggest wedding regrets. I loved my wedding, I'm one of these people who is like “My wedding was the most fun wedding I ever went to.” It was perfect. I don't have any complaints, but I do think, when I look back, there are a couple of things that I would have done a little bit differently. If I can pass them on to you and you can benefit from those and not make those same mistakes, that's what I want to do.
Regret #1: Not hiring a wedding videographer
The number one thing I obviously regret (because I started a company completely based on video!) is when I was having mother help me plan my entire wedding and she asked me if I wanted a wedding videographer. I was picturing some guy with a camera on his shoulder shining a light in people's faces on the dance floor and I was like, “No, I don't need a wedding video.” Flash forward to my wedding and my family surprises us with the most insane amazing flash mob. I've never been more surprised by anything in my life. The photos are amazing but there's no professional video. Luckily, many of my friends had the wherewithal to grab their phones but I can't believe that it’s not professionally recorded. And that's just the flash mob. What about the vows? Don't remember them at all. No recollection of the ceremony. Would love to see what it looked like when we walked into our wedding. It’s definitely my number one regret and I've read article after article and survey after survey where brides and groom say their number one regret is not hiring a videographer or not spending more money on the videographer. If you get one thing from Love Stories TV, hire a videographer for your wedding! You will regret it if you don’t.
Regret #2: Not having more bridesmaids
The number two thing I regret about my wedding is going to be a little surprising, I think. I actually regret not having more bridesmaids. I feel like people are usually like, “Oh my God, I spent so much time figuring out who my bridesmaids were going to be.” I actually felt the opposite. So I had my very best friend in the world, Katie, as my maid of honor and she was perfect and amazing. I thought trying to identify the next group of people after Katie was going to be hard. What if I hurt somebody's feelings? Would have my husband has a different number in his party? I figured it wasn't that important. Our friends know we love them and we would all celebrate at our bach parties. However, I have this really specific memory on the day of my wedding thinking, “I should have just made my best girlfriends my bridesmaids.” It would have been fun to give them presents. They came to visit me when I was getting my hair and makeup done and getting ready but it would have been fun to have them there the whole time. I actually sent my very best girlfriends some champagne to their hotel room because I was so grateful that they have celebrated with me along the way at my shower, my bach and, looking back, I think it would have made them feel good to be bridesmaids also. Plus, all my friends and family are like really fun and we had an amazing dance party, which the other reason that I really recommend people have bridesmaids. It’s just like you have built-in hype people for your wedding. Their actual job on the dance floor is to get people having fun. I think that that's something people really underestimate.
Regret #3: Not going on a honeymoon right after the wedding
My third regret was that we didn't go on our honeymoon right after the wedding. So basically when I think back about my wedding planning journey, I was so lucky my mom basically planned my whole wedding for me and the only two things that I did myself were my wedding bands and my honeymoon. And I remember both of those things being really hard and really stressful! My husband and I just figured we didn’t have the bandwidth to get ourselves together for a honeymoon so we just didn't plan one and then, when the wedding was over, we started looking around at where we wanted to go. We found this resort we were really really excited about and ended up going in April. Our wedding was in June so it was like almost a year later. I don't even want to use the word “regret” necessarily in association with my honeymoon because I had such a good time and it was amazing and perfect. But I kind of wish I had gone right after my wedding. You know, your wedding is this big epic amazing thing and then it's just sort of over when it's over and I think the honeymoon is a really nice way to keep it going and reflect and relax. I think you only get one opportunity in your whole life to be the person getting married and having this celebration together, I think going on your honeymoon right after is just fun and keeps the whole thing going. It makes the whole entire celebration bigger and more special. So I would just figure out a way to organize it and go on your honeymoon right away
Regret #4: Not understanding out-of-town guests’ needs
My fourth regret for my wedding is not having a better understanding of what it meant for people who traveled in for my wedding who had kids. We only had two kids at our wedding—one is my first cousin and one is the son of my first cousin. They were both around 5 years old at the time and both of them traveled in—one from California, one from Oregon—and we're really close to them. I don't have anything against having kids at weddings, I love kids at weddings. Actually, the reason we didn't include kids is because we were at capacity. We didn't have any space left and so we said no kids outside of those two. I don't think there's anything wrong with that necessarily but, again, if we'd had more space I would have had all the kids. What I really didn't take into account (which I realize now that I'm a parent) is how hard it is to travel in from out of town for a wedding and not have the option to bring your kids. I think you should just say to people, “If you're traveling in for my wedding and you want to bring your kids, you should bring your kids. If you don't want to bring your kids, I’ll help you find a babysitter.” I just think it's really not kind and not understanding of your guests to not make it as easy for them as possible but, like I said, I think kids are really fun so if I could do it again I think I would have liked to have made more of a point to reach out to people were traveling in from the wedding and just ask, “Do you want to bring your kid? Would it make your life easier? Would you prefer it?” And then just find a way to fit them into the venue. Kids are little! I'm sure we could have done it. It certainly wasn't intentional but, now that I'm a parent, I really understand that better.
Regret #5: Not helping the wedding officiant more
My fifth regret for my wedding is not being more helpful with my cousin who officiated. Like so many of you we wanted someone we love to officiate our wedding. We looked at our family and friends and thought, “Who do we love so much who really knows us as a couple and would enjoy this? Who is a good public speaker?” And we chose my cousin. He did an amazing job but I don't think we really appreciated how much work it is to create a wedding ceremony from scratch. If I could do it again, I still would have had him as the officiant but I would have found a ceremony coach or found a template online. I would have given him more resources because I wouldn’t want to make it harder on him than it has to be! I feel like we could have handed him more of the ceremony already done instead of asking him to do this massive, really overwhelming task. It's a lot of pressure so my advice to people is, if you're going to have a friend or family member officiate your wedding, get a ceremony coach or be a huge help to them so you're not asking them to do too much
So there you have it—the five biggest wedding regrets of a past bride and the founder of a wedding planning platform. We hope this is helpful and make sure to check out all the real wedding inspiration on lovestoriestv.com.